


{the storms are raging on the rolling seas}

by falsemurmur



Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-18
Updated: 2009-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 12:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsemurmur/pseuds/falsemurmur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Tears form on the corners of her eyes, emotions that threaten to break loose from her soul every other second of every other day, emotions that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time she manages to stuff in the last drawer of her soul to keep from overflowing. This is the point one percent.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	{the storms are raging on the rolling seas}

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**Current mood:**|   
accomplished  
---|---  
**Current music:**|   
[Adele](http://www.last.fm/music/Adele) \- [Make You Feel My Love](http://www.last.fm/music/Adele/_/Make+You+Feel+My+Love) | Powered by [Last.fm](http://www.last.fm/)  
  
**Entry tags:**|   
[!personal favorite](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/%21personal+favorite), [character-centric: lois lane](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/character-centric:+lois+lane), [tv: smallville](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/tv:+smallville), [type: oneshot](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/type:+oneshot)  
  
  
_**{the storms are raging on the rolling seas}**_  
**title: **{the storms are raging on the rolling seas}  
**fandom: **Smallville  
**summary: **_Tears form on the corners of her eyes, emotions that threaten to break loose from her soul every other second of every other day, emotions that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time she manages to stuff in the last drawer of her soul to keep from overflowing. This is the point one percent.  
_**character(s)/pairing(s):** Lois (Lois/Clark UST)  
**genre:** Angst/Romance  
**rating:** PG  
**note: **I can't believe it's been three weeks since I've written fanfic, and over three weeks since I've posted anything here--eek! So this is one of two Smallville fics I have in the can--since the other one is more dialogue focused, as opposed to this one, I'm not through editing it (b/c my dialogue always needs constant editing--I'm just so terrible with it). Anywho...this is completely Lois' perspective, and just encapsulates her feelings towards Clark in S8. Enjoy. :)

~*~

 

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true._

When she recites those words from her mouth, like she's clearly telling him the absolute truth rather than her mirror, she can already hear the accusations of arrogance, conceitedness, and naivety, ignorance over her self-assured importance to someone. The calls don't matter, because it's her she's facing day in and day out.

Tears form on the corners of her eyes, emotions that threaten to break loose from her soul every other second of every other day, emotions that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time she manages to stuff in the last drawer of her soul to keep from overflowing. This is the point one percent.

Just a second, _just give me a second_, she says to herself, and then she wipes the brims of her eyes--takes away the tears, steps away from the mirror, and steps back into her 99.9 percent world. She’s fine. She’s not in love with someone who doesn’t know it, and if he does, he doesn’t seem to show any intelligible knowledge in regards to her feelings for him. She’s fine. She doesn’t know perfectly well that no one could quite love him like she does. She’s fine, _really_.

\---

 

There were songs she liked, and although she couldn’t directly relate to them, she could…sympathize.

She never realized just how different sympathizing with a situation felt from being the situation until a tender love song she used to jokingly karaoke suddenly made her chest tighten and mind freeze one day.

Suddenly, she’s repeating the same song over and over again as she lies on her bed, focusing on the song to drown out what the song reminds her of. More often than not (too often), her mission fails and the song and the reminder clash and she can’t listen to anything at all, and so she works, works, works, not wanting to risk her freezing over someone who constantly moves without her.

\---

 

Scratch that.

The love song thing was just a weird, short, stupid phase, because really, who does that? Not Lois Lane.

\---

One thing is absolutely true--Lois Lane is not a fork in the road. She’s not a “it’s me or her” kind of girl, because Lois Lane is a woman, and if anything she’s too much woman for a man to handle, not the other way around. You don’t screw around with a Lane, and you certainly don’t put her in the middle of anything. She’s it.

\---

The fact is, sometimes she feels weak and so unlike herself that she’s sure she’s going to detonate any minute (this skin, isn’t her skin).

Confident, strong, unique woman that she is, she surely can’t be so in love, that she finds herself questioning her status as a Lane. So yes, sometimes, she can feel it strongly--her namesake, that is. She knows in her gut that despite whatever feelings she may have, she’s Lois and there are no ifs, and, or buts around it.

But sometimes, she feels it strongly--her love for him, that is. And she’s breaking at the britches, clutching onto but being free of the last bits of sanity that don’t make her weak at the knees at the sight of him. She’s slipped into a world in which he’s her first thought when silence abounds, a world in which he’s her last thought when the noise threatens to give her a migraine. He’s her peace and her boiling point, and she knows she’s gone insane not because of anything aforementioned, but rather because all of the aforementioned makes her feel something she’s never felt before. Something so inexplicably unique but indistinctive she’d rather it be buried in her forever than it be burned to ashes that’ll rise into the air and be gone with the wind for her never to attain again. Because she wants that, because she’d rather latch on to these unreturned emotions instead of let go, she knows she’s gone insane.

\---

There are seconds, just seconds, when she feels that yes, he feels something for her too. That she’s not just that annoying, bossy, rude girl that popped into his life one day and took over his room, to him.

Those seconds of mercy that perhaps the universe gives her, or that perhaps she allows herself to believe in, pass and she’s stuck back in this whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

When she lets the emotions that hold him in a dear spot in her heart, win, she feels good and full.

When she lets the emotions that pity her own existence for feeling something deep for him, win, she feels full and gluttonous.

Constant conflict.

\---

Even though she’s told that he and his first love are over, finite, and even though she’s glad at first, everything is overwritten by the thought that together or not, he’ll always love his first love. There just is no one else for him that will live up or be enough.

Even though she holds her own person in high regards, and even though she believes a comparison to his first love is ridiculous because his first love was a good person, and a great girl in her own right, she believes he’s just stuck with an ideal of perfectionism that Lois Lane could easily defeat (but not replace--never replace) said ideal or want of that first love.

Even though she believes that and all else, she fears his idealism will win out, and both will forever be stuck on opposite ends, and _it hurts_.  
\---

When she’s tired and fed up with the secret that burns the tips of her yearning soul, she tells him everything inside her, up through the not-quite-cherry-on-top of how _it hurts_.

With the exception of a few relevant things, nothing is ever the same after that.


End file.
